Coping

As I stand at the station, waiting for the train to take me to work, the people jostle me while the wind howls and whips frozen rain against my exposed skin. Exposed skin is a scarcity and the wind can only throw itself against my face. Trash blows about and my view is full of grey. Very little color asserts itself today. The clouds and smog have temporarily driven the sunshine away.

A teetering guitar riff glistens against my left ear and quickly zips through my head and out my other ear. Drums begin to rumble and roll as if there is a huge coin somewhere nearby just coming down from a spin...getting faster and faster; left right, left right, left right...then fades away.

Color flits and dances just outside of my gaze. The grey rooftops and skeletal tree limbs shimmer and begin to fade. A sudden, heart-stopping bass chord shakes my body and sends a shiver down my spine. Colors are leaking into my field of vision like spilled paint. The colors are getting braver.

Vague forms begin to materialize before me about twenty yards away on a stage that is seemingly trying to replace the dingy rooftops. The wind seems to have calmed and the sun is winking at me through through a crack in the sky. Suits and ties have made way for colorful garb and the litter-strewn ground around me has incredibly turned green with spring grass.

The jostling still occurs, but angry grumbling has been replaced by eagerly given apologies and smiles. The wind has now completely given up and I've found myself standing on a blanket, just after dusk, about to applaud...but for what? The dancing colors have now all but dismissed the grey cityscape which has itself transformed into a milling, writhing crowd of people.

With a sliding backward step, Bob zooms into focus. Phil materializes before my eyes as he makes an adjustment on his bass. Jerry shuffles into being as the stage melts together and stabilizes beneath his feet. Drums roll and I hear the prettiest tinkling from a keyboard. The crowd that had fallen still fills the silence with a mighty roar. Welcome back, boys.

Shivers of excitement course through me like electricity and a big, goofy smile splits my face. I'm back! Its ok. I am alive and happy...teeming with energy and purpose! A happiness, that for months has been absent, lights my soul. The opening chords seem like the strumming of angels and a tear rolls down my cheek as Jerry's hauntingly familiar voice echoes throughout the ampitheatre.

A fellow dancer bumps me. My walkman stops. The colors, band, crowd, and sun twirl and dissolve as if going down a drain someone has opened in the sky. In half a second the rooftops and barren trees have taken their rightful places. As the train rolls into the station the wind is back with a vengeance...stinging my eyes with snowflakes.

Another tear rolls down my cheek.

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